i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it hurts more in the daytime
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
