then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
