That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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