May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
