i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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