I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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