she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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