first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
