Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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