We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
