we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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