She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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