Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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