Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I came so hard my ears popped.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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