my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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