guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize