you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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