whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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