forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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