dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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