She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
