drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
