I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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