did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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