yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
