Buhtt sex?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
