I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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