We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
