her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
bring money and cleavage
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize