Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize