Tell her she can't have a vagina
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
