i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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