we have officially lost it.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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