Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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