Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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