your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
