Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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