Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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