I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize