Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
this is an emotional support booty call
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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