Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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