make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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