spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
