I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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