This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
do herpes really smell.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
