your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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