WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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