Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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