Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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