She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
