so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
