well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
