Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
