the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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