shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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