Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can't put those talents on a resume
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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