I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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