ya dads aren't the best wingmen
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
NoShamevember. You game?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
