The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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